FINDING OUR WAY TO KINDNESS.
KINDNESS CAN SAVE US FROM ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION
BY JOY WISDOM
Through the ages we have accepted suffering as part of life, even conditioned by our cultures, lineages and church. One of the reasons why some people have opted out of normal life. Followed the spiritual path looking for answers. We are still looking to a greater extent outside of ourselves, when all the answers are held inside.
In 2021 we have monumental shifts in energetics and a human global awakening to how precious life is. How good health is an important factor to longevity. Outcomes have been biblical in content and outcome. The transition and global awakening supported by Zodiac as planets square with Aquarius several times throughout the year. Pushing buttons for change. Direct and indirect influences felt, can no longer ignore the signs, to remove suffering from our lives. The spotlight is well and truly on us.
Changing our daily life to be mindful , eradicating abuse is key to happiness, reducing mental health outcomes. There are many parts to remove. Suffering is close to home. How we treat self and each other. Is it abusive or full of kindness? Our words are arrows piercing the heart.
Raged havoc throughout the ages in both genders. Continued through family and cultural mindlessness. Taught and conditioned to continue. Ruled by fear and terror, numbness to life. Abuse includes verbal, sexual, physical violence, anger; volume is staggering! Population seems to be apathetic to abuse levels accepted within society. Those brought up on abuse, know nothing different. Having treated clients suffering v all types of abuse. They didn’t recognise treatment received as abuse. It was normal. With a further twenty or thirty years of living to recognise it was abnormal! A sad state, broken, tainted to the core in the process. Abuse is a cancer of society, complex, a vast subject.
When I first taught new ‘Ultra’ methods designed as a solution to abuse in 2016 sexual abuse stats were 1 in 10 : today it is 1 in 3. A global situation, 736 million women subjected to violence, sexual violence or both with 30% age of 15 and older in 2020. 1.6 million in England/Wales. Rape crisis reports almost half adult survivors are of child sexual abuse. Figures are under reported and under estimated. Women are raped and sexually assaulted every ten minutes (or less) in some parts of the globe. US reports every nine seconds a woman is beaten. Most crimes do not enter the criminal justice system. Mental health outcomes devastating, monetary costs extortionate, overloaded programmes helping individuals. The human costs are unimaginable and lasts a lifetime. Domestic violence remains a secret killer and costs billions annually (US reported 8.3billion (2013) climbing yearly to astronomical figures. Criminal outcomes and death included.
When we create abuse to the self we are more likely to receive from others.
2021 is the spotlight on our self-abuse and neglect. Ignoring our needs we become anxious, stressed and depression sets in. Self-esteem and confidence is eroded from bullying and conditioning. And we mirror accordingly. Mental health and abuse go hand in hand, feeding each other!
Abuse happens in home, school, office and on the street. How long will we continue to accept the violence and domination of those with mental health and Psychopathic/Sociopath tendencies who perpetuate abuse? Psychopathic baselines caused by neglect, poor cognitive abilities and lack of brain development, often caused from formation and early life, continued from parents anxiety, neglect etc. The first three years of life are critical to develop neurons of brain. They grow from love, nurturing from parental care. Neglect reduces development of brain and neurons. Survival tendencies are prevalent in those who abuse. It is them against the world. A scary place to live and lash out to others; a base line of lack of kindness, love and nurturing, bringing instability, vulnerability etc. Care lost and victims don’t know what nurturing is. It seems we continue to roll out children who are starved of love and nurturing. Living legacies of ancestors, mirroring abuse and mental health outcomes with no place in today’s society. Yet accepted as normal!
Starts with us in the home and in our relationships.
To make change we need the spotlight on us. Clarity on what we are doing to create stress and mental outcomes to self and others around us?
When we have courage and will it is easier to challenge others of the wrongs administered.
In many cases our reality is different from who we think we are. We carry blind spots to our own neglect. Ruling subconsciously, the mind holds memories of when this happened and what we did at the time and repeats the process. Locking both perpetrator and victim into habits and triggers that entrap further. Finding we are not in control, a direct change and solution is required, re-training self and mind to other ways of living.
Questions need to be asked.
- How kind are we to ourselves?
- Are we bereft of love and kindness ?
- is there any kindness given or received?
- Do we treat others kindly ?
Take an in depth view. And be truthful to yourself. Start to make change, small steps to kindness, a gesture, a kind word or assistance. Kindness costs nothing to give but the world to someone who does not receive kindness. To be recognised, acknowledged means everything to them.
In training and 1-2-1 therapy sessions, I find trauma bonding to events, sabotage and neglect a big portion of an individual’s problems and health outcomes. Shutting down heart /self-desires, we continue frozen from adverse life events. Logically we understand flight or fight, freezing of the mind from shock/terror however, we seem to be ignorant to long-term effects and robotic outcomes lived, disassociation can be vast from many shocking events and outcomes. Our mind radar is not engaged in life.
The horror story of abuse to Tina Turner is a learning of courage and determination. Victims alone in these situations. Firefighting, survival instead of dealing with the cause. Conditioning and conditioned ourself to give without concern for self. Eons of running around after others, last or non-existant on our radar. And beat ourselves up in the process. (Abuse to self).
From a spiritual and awakening perspective, we cannot continue to live this way. Each one of us counts, we all need love, kindness and nurturing. An innate yearning from conception and formation. Correcting abuse and neglect to self is the first step. Guiding solutions are available, unique methods of education and affective therapy to set us back on track. When we are taught what to look for we are amazed at how much we continue to neglect ourself and v versa. We cannot change the past but we can heal past outcomes. While we firefight nothing changes.
We are all unique requiring bespoke ways to courage, self-esteem; grow, switched on connections and most of all jettison the old conditioning making way for new growth and advancement on your journey to find you.
Including kindness to self. It’s OK to be you.
Acknowledging self, warts and all. Instead of self-blame look at the bigger picture. We live imperfections due to conditioning, bullying and taking on others expectations. The thought of change can be worse than the outcome.
When we embrace self, become aware of habits and subconscious mind, we stop abuse and reduce mental health outcomes without further cause and effect.
Action, we are the producer and editor of our lives… jettison the negative and embrace positive futures….
With kindness and kindness starts with us.
Life can be bright, step up for change with grace and ease.
Learn what you can do for self with guidance, transformation and helping hands for change.
1-2-1 Heart centred Therapy
D.A.R.E ‘Ultra’ methods new solutions to abuse.
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Removing apathy around abuse, Education and mentoring.